Ten Things
by OwlinAMinor
Summary: Romano, bored at a meeting, writes down a list of the ten things he hates most about Spain. Spain, in turn, writes down a list of the ten things he loves most about Romano. Spamano oneshot. Fluff. Christmas present for EdwardCullen'sNumber1Girl.


**TEN THINGS**

**RATING: T**

**PAIRING: Spamano**

**GENRE: Humor & Romance**

**DESCRIPTION: Romano, bored at a meeting, writes down a list of the ten things he hates most about Spain. Spain, in turn, writes down a list of the ten things he loves most about Romano. Fluff.**

**LENGTH: One-shot.**

**POV: Spain**

**Hetalia characters, please consider yourselves disclaimed. (Like a boss.)**

**This story was a Christmas present for Carolina, a.k.a. EdwardCullen'sNumber1Girl.**

* * *

><p>I was innocently sitting there, absentmindedly adding a moustache and glasses to the doodle of a mutant hybrid love-child of a tomato and a zucchini (it looked like a bright green, elongated tomato, if you're curious) in my notebook and absolutely failing at paying attention to England's speech about why everyone drinking to tea was the solution to world hunger when a piece of notebook paper folded about twenty times landed in my lap.<p>

_Oh, hello, Mr. Paper~_ I thought at it. _Who sent you over here?_

It didn't answer me – paper is so rude these days – so I peeked around the table in the direction it had come from instead.

Lovi was very deliberately not looking at me, what I could see of his face the color of a ripe tomato (_so cute~_.)

Well, it must have come from him, then~!

I opened up the note to find this:

_Hey, tomato bastard,_

_I'm really bored (the tea bastard, although occasionally entertaining, completely sucks at giving speeches) so I decided to write down a list of the ten things I hate most about you. Here it is:_

_ 1. __Your smile__ – it's so damned wide and happy, it makes me want to go kill some cute and furry little creatures. Like rabbits. Or Felicianos. (There's only one of him, though, thank _Dios_.)_

_ 2. Your laugh – it's just damned annoying. Almost as annoying as the potato bastard. Plus, fusoso? What fucker in his right mind laughs like that? Well, not you, you don't have a mind … Okay. What fucker who doesn't want to die of over-stupidity laughs like that?_

_ 3. Your eyes – they're so … damned … fucking … green. Like fucking emeralds or something …_

_4. Your hugs – whenever you hug me (which is way too fucking often) I feel like I'm being held prisoner in a cage of … um … warmth … and … um … softness … and … um … it's kind-of nice … BUT IT'S STILL A CAGE! AND I DON'T LIKE IT!_

_5. How you're so damned cheerful all the fucking time – if you were any more cheerful, you'd be pissing rainbows or something. It should be fucking illegal to be that cheerful. Like, you can be that cheerful … on pain of death. Fuck yeah. Like a boss._

_6. Your cooking – just because I eat at your place all the time does not mean I like your cooking. I'm just there because I don't want to be at my house when Feli's potato is around, okay? Your cooking sucks. It tastes like cardboard. German cardboard. Or worse – one of the tea bastard's scones. Ugh._

_7. __Your friends__ – it's like it's impossible to be around you without being around that damned pervy wine bastard and potato bastard number two! … Not that I want to be around your or anything … _Dios_, whatever the hell gave you that idea?_

_8. Your lack of brains – God, why do you have to be so damned stupid all the fucking time? How are you even surviving as a nation with all of your stupidity? You're so stupid, you give stupid a new name. (Hah, I could do this all day.) You're so stupid, you'd try to play got-your-nose with that Harry Potter villain fucker, whats-his-name, that guy with no nose, Moldybutt or something. (Haha, good joke, right? Only you probably didn't get it, 'cause you're so stupid.)_

_9. __Your ass_ – _damn. Your behind is so … fucking … ugh. I don't even know a word that can describe it. It's like … a huge … definitely __not__ hot … beacon that I can't help but stare at. And those incredibly skinny jeans you wear all the time do __not__ help._

_10. __Your love__ – if it exists, you'll hug it and love it. Seriously, bastard? I get compassion, sure, but have some fucking limit! I mean, how am I supposed to believe you when you say you love me if you'd also tell Feli or wine bastard or potato bastard number two or Femke or some random turtle or a guitar or a tomato or _Dios_-knows-what-else that you love __it__? Huh? Huh?_

_Amazing list, right? Well, of course it is. I wrote it, so it can't not be fucking amazing._

_(Yeah, double negatives. Like a fucking boss.)_

_- Lovino_

I read the note several times, because I didn't quite understand it. Lovi uses big words sometimes! Like "occasionally," and "emeralds," and "negative," and … well … anything over two syllables …

Well, anyway~! Once I figured out the note (in all its amazing cute-ness and Lovi-ness), I decided to reply. The back of the paper proved very helpful for this. (I showed my appreciation for it by writing, Gracias_, back of paper, for giving me room to write back to _mi tomate_ on you~!_ on the top of it in large, red letters. I even added a smiley face.)

Here's what I wrote:

_Aw, Lovi, that's so cute~! I love Gil and Francis and Femke and turtles and guitars and tomatoes and you, just like you said~!_

I folded the paper a few times, then pushed it in his direction. Unfortunately, my arm didn't reach him. I tried to use The Force to get it all the way to him, but that didn't work either.

Luckily, Hungary noticed my dilemma and pushed it the rest of the way. (Such a nice girl, Hungary. She's always popping up in weird places, though … like my shower, and the bushes behind my house … particularly when Lovi's over … strange, right? I _know_.)

A minute later, the note was pushed back to me, another couple of sentences written on it in Lovi's scrawling handwriting.

_See what I mean? Stupid and always spreading your love around like it's some sort of infinitely available resource. You're such a damned bastard, bastard._

I smiled. I knew that when Lovi called me a bastard, he really meant that I was hot and had a great ass and he wanted to have wild, passionate, animal sex with me~. (Or, at least, that's what Francis had said it meant, when I asked him.)

I thought for a moment, and then wrote a reply:

_But it's still cute that you'd spend time thinking about me~! You have to spend a __lot__ of time thinking about me to come up with that whole list, _si?

I pushed the note back to him, with the help of Hungary, again. (I made a mental note to give her some paella later as a thank-you.)

Another minute passed, and he sent the paper to me. We continued passing notes in that way for a little while.

_Shut up, bastard._

_Ah, but I can't shut up, because we're passing notes! :)_

_Oh, you know what I mean._

_No, I don't! I'm an idiot, remember? Ah, I don't want to send you that, since you'd probably say something mean and I'd be sad. So I'll come up with a list of reasons why I love you instead! Yay~! :)_

… _If you didn't want me to see that, why didn't you erase it? Or why didn't you just, oh, I don't know, NOT SEND ME THE FUCKING PAPER?_

_I didn't think of that …_

_Because you're a fucking idiot. Of course. Now, when you get this, start on that stupid list. I have to actually start paying attention now because Feli's going to make a speech and I have to be here to signal him with our secret-sign-language-code-of-Italian-badassery in case he screws up (which he's sure to do, since he's even more stupid than you are.)_

_I didn't know you and Feli had a secret-sign-language-code-of-Italian-badassery,_ I started to write, but then I realized that I wasn't supposed to send the note back until I finished my list, and began thinking about that instead.

_Okay,_ I thought. _Reasons I love Lovi. That shouldn't be very hard. There are so many reasons why I love him~! Like how he's cute, and how he looks like a tomato, and his curl, and his smile, and … _

_Ugh, thinking makes my head hurt …_

It took me a few minutes, but I finally managed to come up with the _ten very best_ reasons why I loved Lovi~! A short while after that, they were all down on paper:

_Reasons why I love Lovi! (Aha, that rhymes~! Or alliterates. Or something. I'm not sure.)_

_1. You're cute – everything about you is just adorable. I could bask in your cuteness for a thousand years, and I still would only be one tenth as cute as you are – that's how cute you are._

_2. You look like a tomato – your face when it blushes looks JUST LIKE A TOMATO. Aah, I could just eat you up~! Only I wouldn't, because then you wouldn't be around any more, and that would be sad._

_3. Your smile – it's as beautiful as the sun coming out after a rainstorm and as rare as an eclipse … no, as a blue moon … NO. As your smile~! (There's just nothing else to compare it to.)_

_4. Your curl – I'm still not sure what it does, exactly, and the mystery of it makes it really fun to play with~! Plus, you make the best facial expressions when I touch it. And your CHIGI! I love your CHIGI!_

_5. What you look like when you sleep – you always look the cutest when you're asleep, because you look innocent and peaceful, the way you used to when you were little and I took care of you. I remember when you had nightmares or the squirrels wet your bed and you had to come and sleep with me … those were the good days~._

_6. How you call me a bastard – sure, it's insulting, but I know you don't really mean it. Besides, I may be a bastard, but I'm your bastard. :)_

_7. Your eyes – my eyes are just boring green, but yours are all greeny-browny-gold and really interesting. Every time I look at you, they're a different color. Like they match your mood – dark green, you're mad, gold, you're happy … ah, it's a really pretty gold~._

_8. Your love of tomatoes – nobody else loves tomatoes as much as you and I do. It's, like, our thing. Everybody knows who we are because we love tomatoes! We are the Tomato Duo. Ooh, do you think maybe we should make costumes and be superheroes like America? Good idea, right? Riiight?_

_9. Your artistic-ness – most people think that Feli is the artistic one, but I think you're much more talented, mi amor~. His drawings are prettier but yours are more creative, and that's what counts, isn't it? And sometimes when you talk it will come out like poetry and it's really amazing to listen to~!_

_10. Your pure heart – your harsh outside is hiding a really sweet inside. Most people don't see it, but I do. And that's the biggest reason why I love you – inside, you're sweet and kind and care about everyone. You just don't like showing it, but someday, you will show it, and the world will be a much better place~!_

_And, well, that's everything._

_I love you, _mi Lovinito._ 3_

When Lovi read the note, his face became redder and redder and redder until I was worried that he might explode from sheer red-ness.

And then, he raced out of the meeting like the British were after him, toppling over several chairs in the process.

The meeting wasn't even over yet! How rude!

Oh, I hoped he was okay …

* * *

><p>After the meeting <em>finally<em> finished (it was only twenty more minutes, but it seemed like twenty hours), I walked over to where Lovi had been sitting, where the paper we'd been writing on (along with the separate sheet I'd written my list on) were still located.

On the back of my list, something was written at the bottom of the page, then scribbled out very furiously. "CHIGI!" was scrawled across the top of it in huge, block letters.

"Oi, _Antoine_, what is that? Is that the paper you were scribbling on for the entire meeting?" asked a voice from behind me.

I turned around – it was Francis, smiling at me like he was in a really good mood or something.

I beamed back at him and said, "_Mi tomate_ and I were passing notes~!"

"Oh, really? Can I see?" he inquired, his grin turning into something … else that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

"_Si, por supuesto_," I replied, handing him the paper.

He scanned it quickly (how did he read that fast? It was really impressive), then suddenly burst out laughing.

"_Que_?" I asked.

"He … _ahaha_ … said that this is a … _hehe …_ list of things he hates about you, but it's obviously … _hahaHAHA … _really the things he loves about you," Francis explained between bouts of laughter. "Well, except the last one," he added. "That's just insecure Lovino being insecure Lovino."

Oh, yes, Lovino was quite insecure. That wasn't one of the things I liked about him, but it was true, and …

Wait …

What else had Francis said?

…

"Wait, he loves me? Really?"

"But of course!" the French man exclaimed.

I. Was. In. _Heaven._

I'd known that Lovi didn't hate me as much as he claimed, of course, but that he actually loved me? That _mi amor_ returned my feelings? I'd never dared to dream that high.

But if Francis told me that it … well, Francis had never lied to me. (I think.) Plus, he was the expert on love! He said himself that he was the king of _l'amour_!

I realized that, while I was seeing flowers and rainbows and hearts and heart-shaped tomatoes, Francis was still talking:

"What are you waiting for? Go! Find him! Tell him how you feel! Embrace the beauty of _l'amour_!"

"But I don't know where he went!" I protested. "He ran out of the room after the meeting ended!"

"All the more reason to find him, _mon ami_," Francis countered. "He must have been over come with emotion! Now, go! Go! Your love will show you the way!"

"Okay~!" I agreed. "Don't worry, Lovi," I called, "Boss will find you~!"

I ran off in the general direction of _mi amor_.

At least, I _thought_ it was the same general direction as the one he had ran off in …

* * *

><p>It took me almost an hour, several maps, a couple of unlucky tour guides, and a pound of tomatoes to find Lovi.<p>

(What? The meeting was being held at Russia's place, the Kremlin, and it's really confusing to get around – it's not just a building; it's an entire small _town_. A town made of churches, government buildings, and tourist traps, but a town nonetheless.)

When I finally found him, he was sitting on a bench in a small garden at the very edge of the Kremlin, his head in his arms and his curl drooping – literally drooping, the way a wilted flower droops.

"Lovi, is something wrong?" I asked him, worried.

He stood up abruptly, then turned to me, his face red, and – were those _tears_ on his cheeks?

"No, bastard, I'm fucking _peachy_. I'm so happy, I could piss a fucking _rainbow_."

Sarcasm.

Okay, so he obviously wasn't fine.

Oh, no, did something in my list upset him?

_Quick, Tonio_, I told myself, _say something to make him feel better before he pushes you away!_

Something to make him feel better … hmm … oh, I knew!

"Lovi, you wrote that you had no way of knowing how sincere I was when I told you I loved you, right?" I said quietly.

He nodded warily.

"Well, I love you more than I love my friends and Femke and turtles and tomatoes and everything else in the world _put together._ I couldn't live without you. I'd do anything for you. How's that for sincere, _mi amor_~?"

Lovi looked down. "Fucking terrible, bastard."

But his blush and the way his curl twisted into a vague heart shape told me different.

An awkward silence ensued – him too red-faced to say anything and me too nervous about hurting him or causing him to run away again to make a move.

I thought I saw him twitching, about to leave, though, and I had to act before he got any further. I had to get something from him – I wasn't sure what, but I had the feeling that it was _something_ and it was important and another chance for me to get it wouldn't come for a long time – and he wasn't leaving and ruining my chance.

"Lovi, I was talking to Francis about your list, and –"

"You showed my list to the _wine bastard_?" he exclaimed. "How could you? That's fucking personal shit, you fucking moron!"

Ignoring his interruption, I continued, "– and, well, he said that, except for the last one, all the things on your list that you said you hated about me are really things you love about me. And I was just wondering … well … is that true? Do you love me? Because I don't think anything in this world could make me happier that that."

I looked at him.

He looked at me.

His face was bright red, but it was hardening, as though he was steeling himself for something.

His eyes were almost entirely gold.

And then, he smiled – so beautiful it must have lit up the entire universe – and said, "Of course it fucking is true. I love you, you damned, idiotic, annoying, _wonderful_ bastard."

While I was still processing this amazing, so amazing, so _very_ amazing information, he leaned forward and kissed me.

…

Oh.

So _that's_ what I needed from him.

And it was even better than I had dreamt it to be.

I kissed him back, and it was fireworks and explosions and sunshine and the taste of tomatoes.

"You know, Lovi, I think I'm going to have to extend my list~"

"What list, bastard?"

"The list of things I love about you. I have to add your kisses to the list."

"O-oh."

"…"

"Are you going to have to extend your list, too?"

"Um … m-maybe …"

"Only maybe?"

"Well, I'd have to have another one to know for certain."

"Oh~! Well, I can certainly oblige~"

"…"

"So?"

"Hmm, one more."

"…"

"… one more …"

"…"

"… again …"

"…"

"… again …"

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><p><strong>This story is actually really un-creative ... I took the idea for it from this one Malec (Malec = MagnusAlec, my OTP from the Mortal Instruments) one-shot I once read, 10 Reasons Why I Love You, and the ending bit is from the kiss scene in Toradora. When you add that to the characters I don't own and the reasons Spain loves Romano that mostly came from my friend Hannah ... I just put everything together. xD**

**It's still really cute, though.~ :)**

**Review?**


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